The Goat Says "MEH!"

The turkey goes "GOBBLE! GOBBLE!"

The horse goes "NIGH! NEIGH!"

The dog goes "WOOF! WOOF!"

From monkeys, to sharks, to lions, there are different species that call planet earth home.

All animals living on earth look different from the light brown fur covering their whole body, keeping them warm as they creep up and tackle sick, hopeless animals for their next meal, or blue and green scales covering up their small, slimy body as they uselessly swim around in their own filth however, when we see them, we can tell they are animals. It is the same with human beings.

When we look at each other we see different colors, shapes, and sizes but if you put us behind an x-ray, and view under our skin, our bones are the same, we would not be able to recognize each other. But under our skin and bones, contains our soul, a personality; our mind in which we contain our own thoughts and feeling about not only ourselves, but of each other.

We gather these thoughts and feelings from when we were very young from family, friends, and society that surrounds all of us by what we are taught and what sounds and images we hear everyday. What we learn from others, these sounds, and images we hear and surround ourselves with everyday, build up one on top of each other and soon they build our identity.

On September 7th, 2012, the Bayan Learning Community went through different activities to become comfortable with one another and to get to know each other. One activity was called “Wagon Wheel.”

As a class, we were told to pair up in partners of two, each facing one another and other surrounding in a circle.

Once the partners faced one another the individual on the outer circle had to ask the person sitting on the outside of the circle question that was provided.

When the questions were asked and time was up the person sitting in the inside of the circle had to move over two places to the left, leaving their old partner and taking the questionnaire with them.

Once with their new partner, the people sitting in the inside of the circle passed the questionnaire over to their new partner and the person sitting in the inside of the circle was not being asked the questions.

I was able to ask the questions to my partner, whom I forget their name, the questions from the handout first but when it was flipped over to me to answer them, I hesitated.

“When did you first realize race could be problematic?” he asked me.

"Uhhh," I responded.

I have never thought about this before, let alone had someone question me.

He started to look impatient with his arms crossed as he asked me the question again, “When did you first realize race could be problematic?”

I thought about it a little more. Flashbacks of my childhood came flowing into my mind, kids making fun of my English accent, teasing me for the color of my skin. 

My partner gave me a blank glance and grumbled "Well?"

"Looking for work." I lied.

I realized that my race would be a problem for me since I was a little girl. I am the only person in my family that doesn't look Mexican. I did not fit in. I will never fit in, they would tell me. When I started preschool children would ask me, "What are you?"

"I don't know." I hesitated.

"Your not a real person, your an alien!" they would laugh.

"Hello?" My partner waves his hands in front of me, "You ok?"

"Yeah, sorry, whats the next question?"

“Describe the first time you consciously first realized you were a member of your race/ethnicity.” looking disinterested. 

"I don't know, I never felt like I belonged with an race or ethnicity."

"Never."

"Yup."

Race and ethnicity makes someone who they are. It is embedded in part of their personality, their identity but I always felt like I have to prove my race and ethnicity to others.

Is it because I am not a "stereotypical" Mexicana?!

Is it because people always mistaken me as a white girl?!

 

I will never know.....

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